Grieving ravaged lives

Friends,
Thank you for praying.

In the last post I asked for prayer for my time in Asheville to be fruitful, and a great time visiting friends.  It certainly has been.  Though there was a lot of people I would have loved to see and did not, I got to see several of them at the Potluck and at other meetings through the day.  That was great!  Many people were encouraging and it was great to see them.

Later this evening,I also had some time with two special friends, whom I love and who it was great to hang out with.  One I have not seen in years.  It was not easy.  They are no doing well however.  

At the risk of being mello-dramatic, sometimes I wonder if I am suffering in trauma...I wonder if I am traumatized.  I am certainly grieving a serious loss.

Tonight I sat with two men I used to hang out with when I lived in Asheville.  These are men I have prayed with.  These are men I have read the Bible with.  These are men I have been involved with in ministry.  I would love to go back and re-live some of those times.  I would like to understand them more.  I would like to know why today they seem to be worse off than I found them.  Now in their 30s, their lives are ravaged by sin.  They carry around heavy chains of shame.  Now we all carry stuff around, and we are all wrestling with sin, but tonight got me thinking, as I do from time to time, about the many in my who somehow I thought that God had indeed rescued them and pulled them out of their depravity into something glorious, I see them being ruined, and in some cases even rejecting their first love.  I grieve the tragedies of broken marriages, sabotaging addictions, and a full on turning away from the sovereign, self sustaining, righteous and lovingly merciful father of the universe and Jesus Christ the son sent to seek out and rescue the lost from rightful vengeance for their offences. My mind is flooded with people who have had great chances to chose life with the father by forsaking their own, but have preferred idols instead of God.  May he have mercy on us all that we may repent and receive his mercy.

I heard some harsh and defensive words this evening, nestled between the laughter and the hugs, and they are haunting me. I must weigh them for their truth.  I asked the Lord to defend me from the daggers and convict me of the truth.

Thank you for interceding for my grief.